Can We Get Some Prozac Here

By: chris | March 29th, 2008

So this just became a real life relegation fight after Cagliari were awarded their three points back earlier in the week. Then they went and continued their good form and drew with Roma today (alright, they had no business getting a draw, but Matteo Ferrari started the game with a Rossoblu jersey on). Livorno drops down into the relegation zone before they meet up with Siena tomorrow, but this means there is one more relegation spot which likely just opened up. If I were a betting man (I am) I’d throw some cash down on Cagliari not going down this year. Some magical, inexplicable way.

What it means for Torino is they need to get on their fuckin’ bulls and start putting some goals into the net, because even 8 straight nil-nil draws likely won’t cut it. Now they sit just three points from the relegation zone, and their inability to do anything which resembles scoring goals is becoming quite worrisome. Also: Alvaro Recoba…..you suck.

This weekend’s jaunt is another down to the isles, this edition being a Sicilian trip where they get to take on Catania, a team which sucks….unless they’re playing at home. Oh good. They’re as close to a drunken sorority girl (sure thing) as you’re going to get in calcio when they play away from home, but being on their turf is an entirely different matter. They’re 6-5-3 at home, meaning they’ve only managed to get beaten three times: Fiorentina, Atalanta and Inter. Guess what? Torino isn’t any of those teams, not even Atalanta (sadly).

Meaning: Toro fans should down beaucoup anti-depressants before this game.

Squad

Portieri: Fontana, Gomis.

Difensori: Dellafiore, Di Loreto, Motta, Lanna, Pisano, Rubin.

Centrocampisti: Asamoah, Bottone, Corini, Diana, Grella, Rosina, Zanetti.

Attaccanti: Bjelanovic, Di Michele, Malonga, Recoba, Stellone.

No Simone Barone, no Nikola Lazetic, no Matteo Sereni, no Cesare Natali.

You know what I’d love to see? A “fuck it” lineup. Screw balance. Go all out.

Fontana;
Diana, Dellafiore, Di Loreto, Motta;
Rosinaldo, Grella, Corini, Recoba;
Di Michele, Stellone.

And you know what? It might work, because Catania has some serious impotence - they’re tied with Empoli for least number of goals in Serie A. Why the hell not? It’s not like they’ll come back and put you out of the game with a quick four in the first ten minutes or anything (or half, like Parma). Throw everyone forward, get the team to play like they’re down one in stoppage time of the second half for the entire game, and then maybe build up a little bit of confidence so that they can manage to stay up this year, dammit.

Of course, more likely is a team which will aim to go and scrap out a nil-nil draw, the Torino way……..

Prediction: 0-0. Blah.

Ah well, there’s always this: